S P I N E L E S S  B O O K S

The meeting was not called to order by the President because he appears to have no notion of how to run a meeting. Such is the way with figurehead leaders. Instead the President began the proceedings by asking the Treasurer:

"Is there a frontlist? Or is there just a backlist?"

"There will be a frontlist," the Treasurer replied.

Discussion of "2002" ensued.

The President pointed out that the target palindromic publication date had been missed, the implication being that Spineless Books was already performing like most publishers: i.e. chronically tardy. The President was concerned about this but offered no remedy. Other palindromic dates in October were discussed but the Secretary was too busy typing to follow the gist of the conversation.

Comparisons of Spineless Books to the Al Qaeda terrorist network were proffered. It's good sign that we can joke about terrorism. That must mean we're winning the war against it. Ha ha. The Secretary is glad when the conversation shifts.

"Has everyone else ordered?" The President queried, apparently anxious about being left out of the loop.

"No one else has ordered," the Supportive Presence replied.

The Treasurer asked the President to sign a copy of The President's CD "Down Time." The Treasurer did not tell the President that he had CHARACTERIZATION OMITTED. The question of the President's royalties was implicitly tabled until an executive session could be arranged to discuss the matter.

The Treasurer and the President discussed various scenarios for Spineless Books, e.g. making every book appear to be a rarity and thus more expensive. The President then asked about the web site.

"Johnny Werd" came up somehow and all agreed that it is a "weird book."

The President and the Supportive Presence discussed LA, air pollution, SUVs with Green Party bumper stickers, the past.

I'm missing a lot of the conversation, the Secretary thought, damn this teensy keyboard. What good is a 70+ words-per-minute typing speed when I can't spread my fingers and have them dance across the keys?

The salad course arrived at last. The Secretary's Caesar is exquisite ...leaving that K-Paul dressing-sodden limp parody of a Caesar in the proverbial dust.

The President became concerned that his salad had gotten lost in transit. He was also distressed to learn that he had missed the opportunity to get a Caesar salad. The Secretary offered a b bite of his which the President accepted (using his own fork).

When am I going to get a chance to eat, the Secretary wondered.

"Did you enjoy AWP?" the Treasurer asked the President

"Did I enjoy AWP? The food was good. Room was a piece of work."

"A dump," the Treasurer offered.

"But I thought the conference was kind of boring," the President concluded.

The President and the Supportive Presence discuss academic matters, shop talk.

The main courses arrived, suspending the recording of the minutes.

Once the Secretary resumed his recording of the minutes, the President suggests that the Secretary is "writing more than has actually been said." He directly accuses the Secretary--to his face--of "embellishing events." The Secretary hotly resents the accusation and flings a glass of Coca-Cola into the President's face. Years of meditation and Tai Chi allow the nimble President to dodge the iced beverage which soaks a small infant in the stroller behind him. The child starts squalling. The President deftly turns his dodge into an offensive response and places his foot squarely in the Secretary's groin. The Secretary gasps and falls to floor, dragging the Official Spineless Books HP Jornada Secretarial System with him. The Treasurer tries to restrain the President, but cannot prevent the flurry of roundhouse kicks being delivered to the prostrate and groaning Secretary.

Apparently, the first cracks in the Board's solidarity have been exposeed. The Treasurer wonders whether this bodes ill. The Supportive Presence ignores the whole unseemly scene, but is clearly glad he has not been asked to be a member of the Spineless Books board, which is obviously bad for one's health. Order is finally restored.

The Secretary notes that no official business has been transacted and asks that some sort of motion be put forth to remedy this oversight. The President, adjusting his tie, makes a motion to the effect that someone should make a motion as suggested by the Secretary. The Treasurer seconds the motion to make a motion. The motion passes unanimously.

The meeting adjourned at approximately 2:22:22 p.m. P.DT.

Respectfully submitted,
Dirk Stratton, Secretary